FUCK THE POLICE, I'M A PIRATE
okay, i’m just saying this cause i’m drunk.
What did luke skywalker say to his father when he...
I should change my name to Amanda
Why? cause i’m a man, duh!
consulting-meerkat: fish-wifey: I went to public school. omfg i lost it after attempt 510 omfg JESUS CHRIST I CANT BREATHE SWISS FUCKING CHEESE GOD DAMMIT MOTHERFUCKING TRIPLE SPIKES NEVER NOT REBLOG I CANT EVEN PLAY IT RIGHT SIDE UP HIGH EDUCATION. SWISS FUCKING CHEESE.
How much is the Jackson 5 worth?
$100! you know, cause president Jackson is on the twenty dollar bill, and 5x20=100. Okay i’ll stop, this joke was considerably lamer than my last joke
What do you call a female deer that's high?
A cookie! get it? cause it’s a baked doe?
neurotic-waffle asked: If you could have any fictional character as a partner in the zombie apocalypse, who would it be and why?
TMI Tuesday! Anon is on, get me some questions...
If you don’t ask me something, then you’re a misogynistic, bike-hating capitalist. Okay, not really, but you should still ask me something
How to create the most powerful weapon in the...
Motion is caused by imbalance. if there is balance, there is no motion. So if someone were to create a machine of perpetual motion, that would mean that it is balanced (balanced in the sense that its energy output is equal to its energy input) and in motion. this is a problem because if there is motion, then it is not balanced, but if it is to move perpetually, it must be balanced. it’s a...